You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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