I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
