Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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