even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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