that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
and she was petting her beer can
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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