I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
