You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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