so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
