When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize