dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
this beer tastes like vomit already
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
