i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
