Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
