Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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