There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
