hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
