you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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