if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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