All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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