I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
