I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
