Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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