So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
