if i can run in heels then i can drive
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
