16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
