Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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