Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It was like giving head to a cactus.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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