So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
