That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
