How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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