That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
