I must be too annoying 4 u.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
