I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
