absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
