i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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