we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
