Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
