He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
