Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize