there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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