ADVERTISEMENT

• (703): View more from Virginia

  There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....

  Fav 14 958 2404

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single

  Fav 13 5346 1264

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying

  Fav 10 8086 1117

  share tweet
  

• (334): View more from Alabama

  This hangover is way worse than all my relationships

  Fav 6 1344 3810

  share tweet
  

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.

  Fav 3 3024 1150

  share tweet
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.

  Fav 13 2462 1713

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (541): View more from Oregon

  I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.

  Fav 16 3884 1253

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five

  Fav 4 1427 662

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless

  Fav 9 893 560

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"

  Fav 6 1076 442

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Done

  Fav 0 705 476

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys

  Fav 1 231 97

  share tweet
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.

  Fav 0 189 106

  share tweet
  

• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??

  Fav 5 88 22

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (585): View more from New York

  Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.

  Fav 0 11 43

  share tweet
  

Randomize