cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
