OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
