Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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