We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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