so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
