My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
