dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
