How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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