The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
