just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize