we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
