I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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