I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
