There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
