She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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