my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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