pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
