he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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