Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
