He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
