I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
