I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
