she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
