You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
