she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
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