end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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