i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
