bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize