Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
